I make lists like Angelina adopts 3rd world kids

I'm sitting here at 6:15 listening to The Lawrence Arms. I've barely been out of my room all day other than to go to my classes (JCU didn't cancel classes until afternoon classes, and all mine were in the morning) and to dinner for 1/2 an hour, and I'm fucking bored to tears. So I figured I would write in here, and give you the list of 10 ways to beat the Cleveland winter blues that I promised last night.

10 Ways To Beat The Cleveland Winter Blues (In no particular order):

1. Call someone you haven't talked to in a long time-
One of three things will happen when you do this. Either
A) you will have a great conversation with that person catching up on all the things you've each been doing in your lives (saving the environment, starting a new relationship, catching chlamydia from someone at a frat party you went to last Friday, etc.) or
B) That person will not remember you and you will get into an argument trying to convince her that you met at that one party that a mutual friend had the first weekend of September, and you thought you had a connection, but never really got around to calling her or
C) That person will wonder why you called them, considering you had sex with their girlfriend at a mutual friend's party the first weekend of September, and then never even got around to calling her afterwards, and he will remember how much he hates you and hang up after threatening to kick your ass

I do realize there are other options than these, but these are the three most plausible. Plus, any of these would be a great story to tell the next time you're hanging out with your friends.

2. Learn to swing dance
Let's face it, anyone who can swing dance is probably a fucking cool person. Either that, or a condescending prick who thinks he's better than you simply because he can swing dance. Either way, as long as you're not a condescending prick, you can definitely get some ladies if you go somewhere where dancing is included and you can literally sweep all the women off their feet. They will be putty in your hands after you show them how well you dance. At least, that's what the movies tell me.

3. Master Photoshop
This is something I have been working on during these long boring winter months. While it may not come into play too often in everyday life, or in a job setting (unless you're a tabloid photographer, in which case you're probably a douche), it's still a cool skill to have. It's always nice to know you have the power to take the photo of your ex-girlfriend and her new guy and make it look as though he has a big black dildo in his hand instead of that can of Natural Light. Also, it's a great time killer.

4. Research The Benefits Of Quitting Smoking
It will really make you realize wow, I should quit! However, when you try and realize that you can't do it, this could be kind of a downer. But if you can do it, more power to you, you're a better man than I. Actually, no you're not. Just because you're all of a sudden a nonsmoker and I still smoke you think you're better than me? Fuck off man!

5. Make A Lot Of New Ringtones For Your Phone
Another great timekiller, this has been my way of spending probably around 5 hours worth of time since I came back to school. It helps because you can put on songs that remind you of summer and kind of drift away into a summery haze staring at your computer screen and listening to "What A Day For A Daydream", or whatever other songs may remind you of summer. Be warned, however, that this way of getting rid of the blues only works until you unplug your headphones and look out the window, where you're shamelessly shocked back into January reality.

6. Start Writing A Blog
Hey, it's working for me so far.

7. Read A Trashy Novel About A Romance That Happens At The Beach
I haven't actually done this one, but I'm sure it can help your mind wander to a warm place full of sex, dongs, vaginas, and adultery. Plus they're cheap and probably take a long time to read because you have to force your way through...like trying to have sex with Miley Cyrus.

8. Have A Winter "Fling"
This is how a lot of people apparently pass the time in the summer, but why has the fling always been confined to only the summer? Why can't you have a winter fling? I say everyone go out there and have a winter fling. Report back to me how it goes, and I will shape my opinion on this more as each report comes pouring into my inbox as I'm sure they will. What's wrong with a little unprotected sex in some guy's basement with someone who, as soon as the weather gets nice, will be out of your life forever? At the very least, you can have one more story to tell your psychiatrist.

9. Immerse yourself in work/school/both
This is kind of what I have done a lot of the time. All of a sudden I decided to care about my grades, and have been working a lot more hours than usual, which is fine with me. It really does help to pass the time, and both of these activities are indoors, so you can concentrate hard enough where you don't even remember that it's shitty outside until you go back out 8 hours later. It's really a great feeling to be inside for so long that you forget it's 6 degrees.

10. Drink a lot of alcohol
You didn't really think I would leave this one off the list, did you? This is the best way to get rid of the Cleveland winter blues, and probably the one chosen most often. There's simply nothing that compares to "drinking your coat", so that you don't even have to wear a shirt when it's 20 degrees because you're so plastered you're sweating. Plus, you can literally forget what the weather is like because you forgot everything else from that night too. Let's be honest, this is the best option out of all ten.

Well there you have it, 10 simple ways for you to beat the Cleveland winter blues. I'm spent for tonight, but I'll be back tomorrow for another episode of what's going through my mind.